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A Broke Down Melody

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[25 Jan 2005|11:08pm]
i dove into the past to avoid my present.

here's to all my chaminadians..and exercise in looking back and seeing what we missed..

I miss the simple life
that which existed before you.
I miss late night movies
and starbucks runs,
trips to wendys,
going to the beach,
complaining during channel 1 and break,
talking in class [always a must],
driving around late at night
talking of the future and the past.
Crushes only,
no dates,
we never had the time.
Friday club,
rebelling against the long hours
of homework
that brought us the finest
schools in the country.
No bills to pay
no rent to think of.

Late night talks on AIM,
proposing crazy shit
like sporking out our own eyeballs
or biting of limbs,
magic sheep and elusive snow monkeys,
and herding them in tea cozies.
Ya, we complained,
didn't sleep,
10 hours of homework every night.
Crazy spanish/french teachers,
demanding lit professors,
religious zealotry
and overambitious principals
telling us not to slouch
or steal ryan's books.
The deanery,
cleaver catch phrases
designed to tell us to
tuck in our shirts,
pull up our pants,
and put on our shoes....

...to be continued.

if you want to provide material...im me <3
9 surfers| Surf what?

the valley. [01 Jan 2005|10:39am]
so i've been here about a week and a half, and i already feel so conflicted.

truth be told these days i'm a flake. there's a lot going on in my life outside the picture, with family and close friends and my life at sb. I apologize to those who have been a victim of this fickleness, this flakiness, and this behavior. I really do want everyone to be happy and I really do want to keep everyone's friendships. I just feel like I'm being pulled in one-thousand directions.

Anyways, life has pretty much sucked for the past few days. Again, I'm sorry to those who were the victims of my selfish behavior.
Surf what?

[30 Dec 2004|07:33pm]
2nd time today..some pictures from life

1. santa cruz..rather, castroville, the giant artichoke [yes i wanted to climb the giant artichoke. why you ask?? so i could tell people i climbed a giant artichoke..what do you think!]

2.sunset in capitola [where my boyfriend lived with his ex-girlfriend..FUN! I hate that place now]

3. my best friend stephanie and i bumrushing the "squiggle"

4.trees, yes actual, real, living trees

5.my friend kelsey's b-day [we kidnapped her and took her to the wharf. however, our friend dan kind of ruined it as he called out "HEY LOOK! IT'S THE HARBOR"]

6. katey, me, and my future roomie tina at din din for kelsey's b-day

7.thanksgiving, my sister, my mom, and i

8. to my dear friend hae jung [know as Hae-rold Jung-erford, Jung, or just "Hey you!"]

happy be-lated birthday, friend.
5 surfers| Surf what?

[21 Dec 2004|10:51pm]
i broke up with the boy.

trying to help.
Surf what?

to the world [18 Dec 2004|12:29am]

We may not always be as happy as you always dreamed we'd be, but for once, let's just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are.

stolen from the profile of an insightful person
2 surfers| Surf what?

[28 Oct 2004|12:48pm]
note to everyone coming up to santa barbara for halloween:

many cops who don't need much to arrest you
make sure you have a party to go to when coming up here
carry your beer cups upside-down

seriously. some of my most innocent friends have been arrrested, and I know a lot of people are coming up here...so please be careful :)
1 surfer| Surf what?

[11 Oct 2004|05:37pm]
interesting weekend. Fun times, and not so fun times.

It's good to live next to the beach and surf again.

simply put, I'm not who I thought I was.

What are principles worth anyway?
1 surfer| Surf what?

[21 Aug 2004|10:48pm]
so, i wanted to be dumb and make a post about how i'm going to miss everyone and everything. [YES EVERYTHING!!], and I wanted everyone to see it so that they could feel loved and special.
everyone please clickCollapse )
8 surfers| Surf what?

[05 Jul 2004|11:24pm]
Ask sarah, adrianna, or michelle, because they will tell you the WHOLE story.
I do not have the will.

It all started out as a normal trip to the beach. One little stop at Adrianna's..and 2 hours wasted.

Hae jung: "I hope people don't think I'm asian..you know like AZN" haha

Hae Jung [to kids selling lemonade]: "what are u guys saving up for"
Kids [ages 7 and 8]: "College"

Hae Jung: "This is good lemonade"

lessons of the day
+stay away from lips near storm drains
+never identify tow truck men with teachers [mr. waters hahaha]
+don't try to bury yourself in sand
+don't wear just a towel on the drive home from the beach [people WILL notice]
+finish tootsie roll candy before drinking lemonade

today there were several valuable learning lessons. You should all follow my examples..I MEAN NOT! I am a terrible person.


cynicism. it makes the world go round.
4 surfers| Surf what?

[21 Jun 2004|12:16am]
[ mood | crazy ]

I have work tomorrow. But I can't help but be amused by my friends. They are all so fricken hilarious.

[about the 3:41 am animal menagerie sent to my cell phone]

surfline113: who i'm secretly in love with
surfline113: [it's YOU zach levine..oh baby]
surfline113: hahha
LiveInTheMoment: oo i bet
LiveInTheMoment: oo baby is right
LiveInTheMoment: you have good taste

DannyC426: and then my mom's cousin has a dog and she was watching the dog more intently than she was her own children!
DannyC426: her: "the dog is dirty! tie him down! dont let him run away!"
me: "ummmmm, your daughter is crying and your son is covered in cheese...YOU MIGHT WANNA WATCH THEM!"

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard. Oh wait..there's the 5 million other nights that these people make aim so addictive for me.

good weekend..lots of driving, lancaster and back, lancaster and back. I love misia, and someone loves her cute polish friend. hahah..wait everyone does. But I have to admit that seedy mexican food with david and watching chuck norris in spanish almost took first place for fun. Even though I'm 18, registered to vote, allowed to elope and have sex/babies, I feel like the biggest kid ever when I hang out with him. And I like it.

Surf what?

[17 Jun 2004|08:04am]
today i am eighteen.

yay for voting and getting to elope.

but I can't help feeling a little gloomy that my childhood days are over...for good.

but hey! it's my birthday!

mad <3 to everyone and have a great day...for me
4 surfers| Surf what?

[06 Jun 2004|11:13am]
So..I graduated from high school on June 5th, 2004. It was so entirely surreal because I couldn't really imagine what it would be like to live without all of you guys, my friends. I can't imagine that this school and these friendships, that are all part of my life, would ever come to an end. It's a comforting thought that I still have a best friend that I love. It's a comforting thought that I will see good friends like erin, steph, and all you other guys, I will all see you again. But it won't be the same. We won't be able to see each other every day. We won't be able to bitch at 4am about the SAME homework assignments. It's all going to change. I just can't make myself accept it yet.

I realized yesterday, when I said goodbye to Garret M., that I may never see him again. And then it hit me, I may never see a lot of people again. It freaked me out, and by that time, many people had already left. It was then that it hit me that life was going to change.

I only am sure of one thing. I will try my absolute hardest to keep in touch with everyone. And while I'm so depressed, I also embrace the fact that HOLY SHIT IT'S SUMMER! BBQs, trips to the movies, surfing, beach trips, staying up late, sleep overs, indie waffle saturday, waking up late, sunshine, pool, and all that other great stuff that we generally associate with summer (although california is fucking weird, we can do some of these things anytime).

However, there are some things that I just need to let go. So, to all that know of that stupid infatuation I have been harboring for the past school year that has mostly just caused me pain and anguish, I am going to let go. Forever.

3 surfers| Surf what?

[29 Mar 2004|07:13pm]
whoever anonymously commented on my lj..

"...Its only in dreaming of your every freckle and cutest giggle that I am able to make it through each painstaking day without you in my arms..
longing ceasingly XXXXXXX"

..is an asshole. No, no, not because they had the balls to post it, but because they judged a situation from the outside and embarrassed a whole different person in doing so. Cruelest thing anyone has ever written. Next time, just call me a straight up asshole instead. Nice fucking poetry too, real nice.

last public entry. I actually didn't realize they were public until I got that comment. Not that it matters. I just..I never thought someone would be so cruel. Post again, ass, I'll at least get ur IP address, and then I can follow u. I have big, internet nerd friends.
so thanks again. peace.

hm..soph 5. good timing.
4 surfers| Surf what?

[24 Mar 2004|09:52pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I have comenced my efforts to bite off my own arm so that I have an excuse NOT to do my AP LIT essay!

I now have two bite marks.

the past few days have been blegh. Softball is not as easy as I would like. I am still in love with man-boy-person, but I something has changed. forever. I miss the lighthearted joyfulness and the harmless crush stage. I hate the feeling that I have right now, which is a mix between utter agony at the thought of losing him and resignation. I am a confused person.

Soph talks went well. I love all the leaders. Soph #5 will be the best retreat yet. Holler.

I have to START writing my essay now. thanks.

4 surfers| Surf what?

[20 Mar 2004|08:16am]
[ mood | okay ]

I thought I'd do a quick update.

Thursday night was the most interesting night of my life. I was literally paralyzed from pain that I put on myself. I lay on the floor til my mom came in and laughed at me. I realized the comedy of the situation. I was lying on the floor for like 2 hours, listening to dashboard, sobbing. My mom like fell on the floor laughing, and a new family joke has been born. Seriously though, I just got myself in to deep with someone, and he probably doesn't even care I exist anyway, so it goes.

We had a fist fight at school. (ghettoness need holllla at my jezza). We watched a funny film in bio about the spreading of a virus, and jenna and I want to nominate it for the academy awards. I'm hot for holly! Jenna is also my partner FOR LIFE in AP lit. "YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS, YOU COULD HAVE HAD THIS".

Went out to lunch with the softball girls yesterday, and that was fun, because they are fun, and we bonded at the dollar tree.

rest of the weekend
-gatsby essay
-soph talk
-fashion show rehearsal (damn, I need shoes)
-beach hopefully
-family celebration for college acceptances

k I'm off kiddies. Mad love.

"and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you"
3 surfers| Surf what?

[16 Mar 2004|09:41pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

today has been the best day ever.

First, Richard III with Ian Mckellen is f-ing hilarious. A guy gets murdered while having sex, and a knife mysteriously comes up from under the bed, and the girl giving him head looks up and starts screaming, and the looks on their faces is priceless. We watched Liar Liar in Suppan.

My mom called to tell me that I got into UCSB. 25 years later, I will most likely attend the college where my dad learned to live and where my parents met. What was almost better than finding out about the acceptance was the acceptance hug. I have very few romantic moments in my life, but getting holding spin hug is definitely one of them. It was perfect.

It's weird tho, I always say my best friend and I going to college together. I am sort of sad about that, but hey. Thas the way life works.

Soph #5
unneeded stress. If any males want to lead it..leave a comment or talk to dico tomorrow!

I'm still smiling. UCSB, here I come.

1 surfer| Surf what?

[14 Mar 2004|11:19pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]

misia might mock me..

but i would rather live with *him* in this hut

than anything else in the world..

not for naked pinatas or matt damon.. sorry misia

1 surfer| Surf what?

[14 Mar 2004|11:38am]
[ mood | depressed ]


UC Davis

UC Santa Barbara

hmmm..I'm kinda freaking out..maybe my chances aren't as good as I thought

2 surfers| Surf what?

[10 Mar 2004|09:22pm]
[ mood | distraught ]

"I wanna share my life with you
and tell me that you feel
the way I feel with you
and tell me that you love me
just like I love you"

founders day mass...
pointless waste of time
jesus rode the wind.
talked to ste
felt a little better.
my mind is in a million places
everywhere except here.
listening to matt g. sing story of the year
made me laugh.

bats in the belfry!
1 surfer| Surf what?

nostalgic [08 Mar 2004|07:49pm]
[ mood | listless ]


I miss my goofiness, and the people that actually thought I was funny. I miss having "crushes", I miss my multiple senior boys who made my freshman year worth living, I miss going to get yogurt at the yogurt shop across the street. I miss frosh-soph bball, and being a freshman in the athletics programs. I miss the feeling of newness. I miss being excited to go to school. I miss my 9:30 pm bedtime. I miss my ridiculous optimism.

I remember that I had the biggest crush on Kane Pithey, and I totally wanted him to notice me. So I told Shade and co. that I would walk by in slow motion, and they could sing "who's that lady" by the Isley Brothers in the background. I remember playing soccer with a water bottle in the middle of freshman hall. I miss bear hugs. I miss Matt Boone.

Time really does move in strange patterns. It speeds up and slows down and whirls around. I would give anything to give back, but I never can. That is why we need to make the most of every moment.

people change. I've lost one of the best friends I've ever had. I don't really know how to deal with it.

4 surfers| Surf what?

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